I was driving to work this morning and was cut off by two cell-phone talking idiots. I then got stuck behind another on 183 doing 50MPH in the fast lane. WTF? To that stupid bitch on the phone in the red Acura: How many people have to come up on your bumper and then whip out and around you before you get the hint? I gave her the evil-eye as I passed and she looked me right at me with her dumb cow-eyes and kept on talking. I swear the bigger and nicer I make my truck the bigger a target it becomes. I think I’m just gonna plow into the next SUV-driving, cell-phone talking, soccer sticker in the window with Britney’s name on it, Starbuck’s drinking, moomie that cuts me off. I could use the money.
I know they’re illegal in the US but I think Shurfoot needs a cell-phone jammer. A 100 foot ‘circle-of-peace’ around it would make driving so much nicer. Drive within 50′ of me and *BOOM* there goes your call. Pull the fuck over if you need to make a call. I heard a news story a few months ago about an idiot on the phone with a friend when she wrecked her car and killed herself. Her friend on the other end got to hear the whole thing. I about laughed my ass off.
Yes, I have a cell phone but it’s there for my convenience, not whoever is on the other end. They can wait until I get where I’m going. If I feel they’re important enough, I’ll call them back.
: In the Shelter from the album “Changes in Latitudes – Changes in Attitudes” by Jimmy Buffett